Dear Diary (For people with a sense of humor)

This is a joke that has been between my sister and myself for quite some time. I'm going to share it because, quite frankly, it's hilarious.
I thought it would be fun if everyone could post their own funny diary entry written by Erik.




Dear Diary,
Today I saw the hottest chick ever. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, this was a 10.5! I followed her in the shadows to her dressing room and waited outside for her to leave. When she did, I picked the lock on her door and stole some sweets. They were quite tasty. On the way back down to the hovel I call 'Erik's Lair", I found a baby rat and named him Armando. He is very small and makes high-pitched noises that are already on my nerves. Someday, we will rule all of Paris together.
That's all for now

XOXO,
-Erik
-OG
-Phantom
-Hot Mess
Yes, OG is best.

Since this is not a Phanfic I've moved to OFF TOPIC GENERAL.

I liked this. Give us more.

Aw, no one is participating?
Whatever, I'll just post a new entry...

Dear Diary,
Today I constructed a boat for Armando. Unfortunately, there was a small leak, and it began sinking. By this time, Armando had floated out to the middle of the lake and I could not save him. I guess rats can swim, or maybe it's just mine, but Armando came back to me.

Saw that girl again. I've been thinking about her quite a lot lately. Perhaps a kidnapping is in store? I shall teach my little friend to deliver her letters.

Until next time!
XXXOOO,
-OG

I like it. Give us more. Personally I can't think of an entry. Perhaps after seeing more of yours or others.

okkk...quite random.....

I have returned to the land of the somewhat living!

I hope you have all fared well in my absence, I know you have all been missing me quite dearly since I stopped posting.

I suppose it must once again fall to me and my dear friend SnowMoccasin to get the proverbial ball rolling on a new form of entertainment on our beloved website!


Dear Diary,

I am planning to introduce myself to the lovely young lady tonight in her dressing room. I have even been practicing line on Armando, such line as these have been my favored thus far:
(as said to my young rodent friend)

Hey Armando do you have a band-aid because I believe myself to have fallen for you.

Have you turned up the gas lamps because it has become quite hot in here.

Armando does this bit of cloth smell like chloroform to you? (he became very still after this one for half of an hour)

Then because she is in the chorus I thought to try this humble line:

My dear from your voice I believe Heave to be missing an angel.

I think I will use the gas lamp one.

I will inform you of the outcome first, (alright I can lie to you my paper friend I shall tell Armando then you.)
XO,
OG

I have another one for you!

"Do you play the drums because I want to bang you."

Even though it's not historically accurate I think this one's like soooooooooo funny!

"The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse, I love you so much I want to jump into a Trojan."

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA thank God people are participating.


Dear Diary,
Talked to the hottie (her name is Christine) today through her dressing room wall.
The pick-up line only made her scream, so I was forced to sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in order to calm her down. She now thinks of me as her Angel of Music. I think the sock fits.
I have been working with Armando on the whole note-delivery thing. I took him to Christine's room while she was at rehearsal and fed him some bread and an apple core. If I repeat this everyday, he will eventually learn to go to her room on his own. While in there, I also took the liberty of spritzing some of my darling's sweet-smelling perfume onto my cloak. I then found some small decorative soaps in the vanity's drawer. I thought they would do nicely for Armando, but took only the blue seashell-shaped one.
Afterward, I was quite bored and sneaked into yet another dorm where I stole some polish for Armando's nails and a frilly garment I can cut and use to make winter clothes for my little friend.

Let's hope he looks good in yellow!
xxoxx
O.G.

Directly from my boyfriend's diary word for word

Dear Diary,
Natalie'shigh pitched squeaking is driving me insane. They are realy hight pitched
and tarting to hurt my ears. Itsrealy weird though because this only happens
when she unepectedly sees Geard butler in a movie or youtube video. She made the sound last night when she was watching a youtube video of the national antem of Scotland and in the video they were showing pictures of Scotland and Scottish people.

Erik D.

that is seriously his name and yes i know i made that squeaky sound

hahaha he's so stupid
in a good way.

Dear Diary,
I have done something I may later regret...
The girl, the lovely, lovely girl is in my possession.
As Armando's favorite line was the chloroform one, I used it on Christine...
She is now lies beside the well, asleep.
Oh dear, her head is bleeding a bit from when I dropped her (what!? she was heavy!) good thing I have some cloth.


I must go!
oooxxx
-OG

Dear diary
Its Me

xoxo
O.G.

Dear Diary,
That IDIOTIC GIRL TOOK MY MASK OFF!!!
Right now, she's sleeping in the back bedroom. I have managed to forgive her.
Armando has not met out new company as of right now. He will eventually, as I have decided Christine will take up private residence here.
Poor Armando. I fear Christine will distract me from talking and spending time with him. I shall sew him a little beret so he will remember I care for him no matter what.

Cheers!

xoxOOxox

OG~ <3


Postscript

I believe myself to be in love.

Dear Diary,

Last night I heard Christine scream, I went to check on her and found her standing on the chest of drawers and my poor Armando on the floor squeaking a heartfelt greeting to her ,his beret askew. That or else he wanted some of the cheese and wine I'd left for her, yes I think it was the second one. I picked up Armando and put him in a "time out" in the seat of the organ bench. He became very angry with me when I forgot to let him out, I tried to make amends by feeding him some leftover shrimp and chicken, he accepted the food but still ignores me.

O.G.

Dear Diary,
Life with Christine is never dull.
Because she loves me...or she faking. No, I believe this must be true love.


Yours,
oooxxx
OG