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 JOURNEY TO THE PAST

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EriksComposer
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PostSubject: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:11 am

Hello everyone! This is a phanfic that's been bubbling in my head for a long time before I joined. So here it is.



JOURNEY TO THE PAST

CHAPTER I

Buntingford, Hertfordshire, 2009

Chrissy Day woke with a start and looked to her left to see who had woken her. It turned out to be her best friend, Megan Germain, whose long blonde hair swung into Chrissy's face.

"Well, now that you're up, Happy B-Day, music-girl!"

"Megan, what's the time?!"asked Chrissy exasperatedly, knowing full well that as her friend had woken her up, it was most likely about five in the morning!

"Five a.m!"

"Why?!"

"Couldn't sleep!"

Chrissy groaned and turned over, mumbling that she didn't want to get up. "Why now, of all times, I'll be too tired for the theatre!"

Megan laughed. They were going to go to the West End to go to a musical. Chrissy was allowed to choose and she wanted to see one that she had never seen before. Chrissy remembered that day about three weeks ago when her mother was buying tickets. Her mother had read out many titles of musicals that Chrissy liked, but she wanted something new. She then looked through musicals that she hadn't seen before. One leapt out to her, one that no-one in her family at all had seen.

"I know!" she had said, "Let's go and see The Phantom Of The Opera!"

So her mother had booked the tickets and Chrissy had made a vow not to do what she always did when going to to see something knew, i.e looking up on Google, but the temptation was enormous. Nevertheless, she had resisted. And now, the day had come.

Chrissy insisted that they go to sleep again, and they presently woke up five hours later, but only when her mother woke the girls up. The day passed usually for a birthday in the Day household, and Megan, as usual spent the entire day there.

"She spends more time at your house than she does at her own!" said Megan's mother, Amy. It was true too, but seventeen is a special age to turn, so why wouldn't she want to be with her best friend on her special day?

At last, the time came for the trio to get in the car to set off for London. Chrissy and Megan chatted non-stop the entire time. Neither of them had seen Phantom before, so they were very excited. Megan, however, had read the book, and was wondering if there would be differences.

After what seemed hours of traveling, they finally reached the car park. Chrissy's mum paid the charge and they walked to Her Majesty's Theatre. When they got in, the doorman called them Madam and Miss, to which Chrissy and Megan fell about giggling. They had some of the best seats in the house, on the front row of the balcony, so they could see everything. They had time to whisper and and giggle before the lights went down and the curtain went up.They held their breaths in anticipation until, "Lot 666, a chandelier in pieces"

Then it started, what to Chrissy was a wonderful dream. The actor who was the Phantom really made her soul soar. She looked at her program and it said he was played by Ramin Karimloo. A strange thought passed in her head, 'No wonder', then she roused herself. She didn't even know who this man was! She shrugged it off and focused again on the performance. When the end of Act 1 came, she shook with rage when Christine chose Raoul. When the Phantom then sang of his heartbreak, she then found tears running down her face. What was wrong with her today? She didn't know.

When the lights went down for Act 2, she suppressed a cheer when the Phantom appeared in his elaborate red costume. Another crazy thought passed through her head 'Well said Erik'. She shook her head, who was Erik? That couldn't be the Phantom's name, and even if it was, how would she know that?

She sat through the rest of the act wondering when the Phantom was going to turn up again, she could hear Megan next to her cheering for Raoul, and her mother and what seemed like the rest of the audience doing the same thing. but she felt drawn to the Phantom, his tortured soul, his beautiful music, his soft voice. It all seemed so real.

Then, when it came to Past The Point Of No Return, she found herself singing along like she had been singing the song her entire life! 'Now' she thought to herself, 'I'm really losing the plot! How the hell do I know this?!' But she kept on singing and the world around her fell away. She sang through the rest of the performance, and when, at the very end, when Christine left the Phantom, and he was crying, she found herself, again, crying with him. He had really moved her. It was strange, she hadn't fallen for the actor who played the Phantom, she felt for the Phantom himself.

When they got home, all she could talk about was the performance. That was it. She went to bed that night, still going over all the strange and wonderful things that had gone on. She fell asleep, dreaming of the Angel Of Music...


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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:00 am

Okay, I couldn't resist doing this, so I have to post the second chapter. Enjoy, I know I will.

CHAPTER 2


Chrissy woke up as usual to someone shaking her, but this time, someone with a strong French accent was yelling at her.

"Christine Daae, will you wake up!"

'Huh?' thought Chrissy groggily, 'who is this?'

"My name is not Christine Daae" she said staring up into the face of this new person, "and who are you?"

"Christine," said someone who looked and sounded like Megan, "are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine Megan, and why is everyone calling me Christine"

"Mother," said Megan, "I don't think she's well! She's called me Megan! That's not my name."

"Never mind Meg, don't forget she did hit her head hard last night"

Thoughts flashed through Chrissy's mind, 'Meg, Christine, France? Oh My God! I didn't think it was real!'

Chrissy there and then decided that she would play along. After all, she didn't want to be shut up the the asylum.

"Sorry, Madame Giry, I was still feeling a bit groggy from the hit on the head."

"Don't worry, my dear," said Madame Giry kindly, "you had a bad fall. Now, we are rehearsing for Hannibal today and you need to practise your demie-pliees."

The next hour or so passed in a whirl for Chrissy. She chatted to Meg as if she had known her all her life, and from what she could make out, Christine had known her all her life. After breakfast, she changed into her ballet outfit. She couldn't help but shake with nerves as she's never had a ballet lesson in her life! But the moves all came and she found herself dancing away like she never had before. All was going great until the prima donna of the opera, Carlotta, started singing.

Chrissy had an urge to cover her ears completely. It was a horrid, shrill, sound that threatened to burst her eardrums. 'I can see why the Phantom wanted to get rid of her!' she thought to herself while doing a rond-de-jambs. Then, it hit her like a ton of bricks! If this was all happening and she was taking the place of Christine Daae, then that meant that the Phantom was in love with her! Oh how she hoped that it was true. But a small voice in the back of her mind said 'But you know what's going to happen!' That would ruin it ! She remembered what she had seen the previous night. Or at least she tried to. She couldn't remember! 'That's probably better than nothing' she thought and continued dancing.

After a while, the new managers of the opera appeared and asked Carlotta to sing the aria in Act 3 of Hannibal. She started singing the song, far too high and fast.
When the second verse started, a piece of scenery flew down from the rafters and nearly hit Carlotta.

Meg turned to her and said, "He's there, the Phantom Of The Opera!"

Meanwhile, Carlotta was throwing a total hissy fit, eventually storming off in a rage, vowing never to work at the Opera Populaire again. The managers were terrified because they would have to refund everyone. Chrissy felt quite helpless until Meg piped up and said, "Christine Daae could sing it sir,"

The managers protested but Madame Giry told them to give her a chance. The music started and Chrissy felt enveloped in fear. She still sang though...

"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye, remember me, once in a while please promise me you'll try. When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me!"
The managers were obviously impressed, because they offered her the role there and then.

About six hours later, she was singing the song in front of a crowd of hundreds, "We never said our love was evergreen or as unchanging as the sea, but when you can still remember, stop and think of me!"

The beauty of the music wrapped itself around her and in the instrumental break, she spotted a man who she knew from Christine's childhood, who obviously recognized her too. Memories came flooding back, but they weren't hers. They were all Christine's. She now couldn't remember anything of her old life, not even the previous night. Then, she snapped back. She was starring in an opera after all. She began to sing the last verse and soon, the most impressive part, the cadenza, came and Chrissy gave it her all. She hit the top note with all her strength and the audience erupted with applause. She joined the other cast members for a bow and then quietly stepped off the stage.

All of the dancers crowded around her and it was strange to think that that very morning, they were strangers to her but now she saw them as old friends. Before she could tell them all the details and about seeing Raoul (Christine's childhood friend) in the audience, Madame Giry came and scolded the dancers for their bad performance.

However, to Chrissy she said, "Well done my dear, he is pleased with you."

She thanked her and ran to the chapel to be alone and light a candle for her real parents, who she knew that she would never see again.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 11:44 am

Nice job in expressing your ideas in words. This is a retelling of the stage version of The Phantom of the Opera using the dream/knocked in the head ploy to bring a modern day Chrissy into the 19th Century world of Erik and Christine from Gaston Leroux's original story.

I applaud you for your great imagination and the emotion expressed in Chrissy's love of the tortured creature we all know and have come to love.

Just a few suggestions to make the plot unfold better.

1. Try not to start out with dialogue unless you are immediately going to give the reader a description of the location, period of time and names of who are present.

You did tell us who was talking, but it wasn't until several paragraphs later that we learn the age of the girls. Only from the verbal usage do we understand that this is modern day until we reach the dream sequence.

2. Give us more description of the surroundings and emotions from the characters.

3. Watch your spelling and spacing.

I hope you don't take offense, but I added spaces between paragraphs, italicized the thoughts and corrected the spelling.


Keep in mind there have been many Phan Phics with the same idea to bring a modern girl to the Phantom. Make it your own. Give us more than a retelling. Otherwise, good job! Keep up the good work.

Brava, brava, bravissimi! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 2:58 pm

Oh believe me Fay, there's gonna be a twist, which I'm thinking of putting in straight after Music of The Night. Also, there was bound to be a couple of typos as I was so excited to make my first posts. You flatter me as well. I've got nothing on you when it comes to storytelling. I was up for hours reading Through The Looking Glass!


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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 3:15 pm

Yeah, again, couldn't resist. Hope anyone who wants to read will like it.

CHAPTER 3

Chrissy had been alone considering the fact that she would now have to live in 1860 for about five minutes when she heard Meg calling her, "Christine, Christine?"

She was about to say that she was there, when she heard a new, ghostly voice which she recognized at once as that of the Phantom, again calling her name. She then was jogged back to reality when Meg appeared and said, "Where in the world have you been hiding, really, you were PERFECT!"

Chrissy blushed and shrugged with modesty while her friend looked at her with admiration.

"I only wish I knew your secret. Who's your new tutor?"

Chrissy decided to make it up, but a thought at the back of her mind jumped to the front. It made sense, so she used it.

"Father spoke of an angel. I used to dream he'd appear. "

Then, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She was being watched.

"Now as I sing I can sense him, and I know he's here!"

Meg then replied, "Christine, you're dreaming. Stories like this can't come true. You're talking in riddles. You don't do that. Not if I know you."

However. Chrissy was now lost in a trance, and was calling to her angel. Meg was puzzled. Chrissy then felt frightened. He was there, with them now and she was very uncomfortable.

Before things could get really awkward, Madame Giry appeared and Meg left for ballet practice. Chrissy's eyes were aching for sleep, and she was starving. But one, and only one thing troubled her. She had not yet seen her angel. She couldn't remember the plot line of the musical, so she didn't know what was going to happen!

"Oh God," she said to herself, "what if I change something. Oh well, what happens, happens."

She made her way to her dressing room to undo her hair and take her makeup off. Makeup felt so different in 1860, like actual paint. About 10 minutes later, she had taken her hair down and her long straight hair was flowing free. As she was about to remove her lipstick, there was a knock on the door.

"Christine Daae," said a strangely familiar voice, "you have your red scarf don't you?"
This confused Chrissy, she didn't own a red scarf, what was this guy talking about? Then, more of Christine's memories came back. Now she recognized the voice. It could only belong to...

"Raoul?" she said," Is it you Raoul?"

"It is indeed," said Raoul, "May I come in?"

Chrissy went over and opened the door. Standing there was one of the handsomest men she had ever seen. He had dark blond hair that reached his shoulders, a light mustache, dark brown eyes and finely chiseled features. They sat down and talked. They talked of their childhood experiences and of their young summer love. They talked of the fairy tale Christine's father had told him, the tale of Little Lotte.

Eventually, Raoul asked her to dinner. This fretted Chrissy, what if the Phantom came and she missed it. She could tell there and then that he wouldn't be happy about this. Politely, she turned him down, but he insisted, saying, "Ten minutes, Little Lotte"

Almost immediately, after the door had closed, a heavenly voice called down to her. However, he sounded angry. 'Is this the Phantom?' thought Chrissy...


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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:51 pm

Again guys, couldn't resist. I'm loving writing a phanfic! Oh, and thank you PhantomnessFay for your kind words of wisdom. It means alot to me. So, the show shall go on.

CHAPTER 4

Whoever it was talking to her, he was very angry and was heavily criticizing Raoul. Thoughts of sympathy flashed through Chrissy's mind. Then, she dismissed herself. She loved the Phantom, didn't she? Now, she wasn't sure. After all, she now had Christine's memories and she remembered all those times spent with him. But the Phantom was here now and that was what mattered.

She responded to her angel, trying her hardest to disguise the fear in her voice. Then, after it seemed that the angel had forgiven her, the mirror slid open and a mysterious gloved hand extended. Chrissy took it, now in a trance that gave her eyes only for this mysterious man. She did not hear the frantic banging on the door now that it had mysteriously locked itself, and she didn't hear the Vicomte de Changy's frantic cries to the chorus girl he had fallen in love with.

The trip down to the Phantom's lair was fascinating. They tore through passages and sped down spiral staircases. At one point, Chrissy found herself riding on one of the missing horses from the Opera Populaire stables. All this time, the girl and her angel were singing to each other. When finally they got to the lake, the Angel of Music rowed them across the vast stretch of water. The angel ordered Chrissy to sing and she obeyed. She soared higher and higher, reaching to what seemed like the heights of the stratosphere until, in a blaze of power, she hit the highest note she could.

Immediately, she was brought back to her senses. She had just been singing. The whole time she had spent in 1860, she had been singing. How, she didn't know. She had never sung before in her life. She had played the violin, piano and oboe well, earning her the title of 'music-girl' but had never sung. Bits of her real past were peeking their way into her reality and she couldn't understand it. But now, she longed to sing with her angel again. She was about to sing again for him, but he was already addressing her.

"Well, Christine Daae, you have quite a voice. Except that's not your name is it, Chrissy Day?"

Chrissy stiffened in fear. He knew her secret. He knew where she had come from. She was about to explain when the Phantom said, "You are here because I called you here. I was there in spirit that night, past for you but future for me. I was there and I could tell that you felt nothing but pity and love for me, pure and unconditional love. You don't remember anything of that night, except that you loved me. And what I ask of you, Miss Christina Alice Day, is that do you still love me?"

At this point, Chrissy was lost for words. She was torn between Raoul and the Phantom. She stammered, "My-mmy a-angel, I-I-I"

"Never mind," said the angel "let me show you something"

He led her over to a covered object. He pulled away the Persian blanket and there inside was a waxwork. More than just that, a waxwork identical to Chrissy! She turned to the Phantom, and he held her in his arms and said, "Christine, will you marry me?"

This was too much for Chrissy. Her mind was whirring and pulsating with thoughts, answers and music. She looked at the Phantom, leaned up and tried to kiss him, but before she could, she fainted clean away and fell in a heap in the arms of the startled angel of music.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:08 pm

Okay everyone! I've decided to write some more of the story. Enjoy and all of that. Bye!

CHAPTER 5


When she awoke the next morning, Chrissy could hear a beautiful melody playing from an ornate music box. It was red and had a rotating horse on the top. She looked around and took in her surroundings. She was lying in the boat, which had been converted to a bed. She looked around for her angel. He was playing his organ. More than that, he was playing a tune that she knew. How she knew it, she wasn't sure, but his playing needed a better accompaniment. She silently got out of bed and walked up to the Phantom. She sat beside him on his organ and played the other part. He jumped when he saw her, and his mask was knocked askew, and as he tried to right it, it fell off. Now, his face was entirely visible.

Chrissy gave a double take when she saw the other side of her angel's face. It turned out that his crop of shiny black hair was a wig. He really had tufts of brown hair sticking out at odd angles. There was what seemed a hole through his skull, through which Chrissy could see his living brain, although he was not bleeding. He had no right eyebrow at all, and his eyes were different colours, his left being a normal pearly blue, but his left was and orange that seemed to shine. A curious kind of discharge flowed from the orange eye. The skin on his cheek was wrinkled and twisted, and seemed to have several deep scars. His lips were a beautiful shade of red, but were enlarged to twice the average. Most people would have screamed and ran but Chrissy bent down and picked the mask and wig. Her angel stared at her, at her beautiful dark brown hair which fell in a waterfall over her shoulders, her enchanting glass green eyes, and her soft pink lips.

"I thank you, mademoiselle, for not screaming at my disgusting face."

Chrissy looked deep into his eyes and said, with a voice filled with compassion and love, "I don't think you are disgusting. I think you are beautiful."

The angel of music took her hand and brushed his lips against it. Then, he met Chrissy's eyes and moved closer to her. In one sudden sweep, she was in his arms, and in another moment, he kissed her full on the mouth, and Chrissy kissed him back. To Chrissy, the world fell away and there was only them two. Before she could really enjoy it, her angel broke apart from her. When she looked into his eyes once more, she could see that they were filled with tears.

She asked what was wrong and her angel turned away, "You are an innocent maid of seventeen, and I am a blackened, worthless thing who is nearly twice your age. I should not have done what I did just then. I must return you to the managers. They will want you." With that, her angel took her hand and led her back to the dressing room.

When she returned, she was greeted by a surprised Meg and Mme Giry. She was told to go to bed immediately. It was obvious that she was tired. She went to the ballet dormitories and fell straight asleep.

She awoke about three hours later when she was told that in the production of Il Muto, she would play the silent pageboy and Carlotta would sing the lead. Chrissy nearly cried out in dismay, now she would have to spend three hours listening to that diva singing, or more like, screaming. God, she sounded awful. Well, at least she was able to talk to Raoul and Meg about it.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:18 am

Another chapter well done. Some differences are surfacing in comparison to the play and the novel. Keep in mind that readers have a short attention span. Don't take too long in giving them a reason to keep reading.

The grammar is better. As you become more comfortable in writing I will give you more suggestions for a quick and smoother read.

Again, I helped with the format and spelling.

Keep up the good work. Anxious to read more.

Brava, brava, bravissimi! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy


P.S. You flatter me when you say you were up for hours reading Through the Looking Glass. Thank you so much for that.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:12 pm

Hello guys, this is my first post because I've had a long week as my cat went missing and I have a singing exam tomorrow! Yikes! This is to calm me down really, so enjoy and all that stuff. So, only for you guys, here it it,

CHAPTER 6

Il Muto was ready. The dancing for once was perfect, everyone was singing beautifully. Carlotta was happy because she had the lead role. The managers were happy because they wouldn't have to cancel. Every one was happy. That is, except Chrissy. Her angel had pretty much ignored her ever since she had been down in his lair. She was slowly losing her passion for him. And, to her dismay, she was now feeling the passion for Raoul! She was troubled about this. She wasn't sure about who she loved. More crazy thoughts passed her head, Why should I love the Phantom when he's ignored me for months on end. Raoul's been there for me from the beginning!'

On opening night, Chrissy was sitting in her dressing room, wishing that her angel would talk to her, or give her a sign at least. She jumped when there was a knock on her door, but it turned out to be Raoul. She felt relieved to see him.

"Hello Little Lotte," he said gently, taking her hands in his own, "are looking forward to the performance."

Chrissy tore her hands away and mumbled a reply, "No"

Raoul was puzzled and slightly worried about her. She'd been so distant and not herself. He gave her words of encouragement and comfort, but she looked away.

"Christine, what's wrong? You're not yourself."

"I want to tell you Raoul," she replied, "but I can't. I really can't"

Raoul looked at his childhood sweetheart who had become the love of his life. He took her in his arms, hugged her tight and gently kissed her head. She broke the hug and looked at him with her lovely eyes that were now full of pearly tears. They moved closer, about to kiss, when there was another knock at the door. This time it was Mme Giry, telling her she had ten minutes to go on. Raoul looked at his Little Lotte and told her to meet her in the foyer after the performance.

Halfway through Act 2 of Il Muto, Carlotta was halfway through an aria when a loud booming voice said, "DID I NOT INSTRUCT THAT BOX 5 WAS TO BE LEFT EMPTY!?"

'Oh no!' thought Chrissy, terrified.

"He's here!" she yelped, "The Phantom's here!"

"Your part is silent little toad!" snapped Carlotta viciously.

She didn't know for sure but Chrissy thought she heard the voice say, "A toad, madam. I think it is you who is the toad."

Carlotta looked at the conductor, who started the phrase from the aria again. Carlotta started singing, but suddenly she made a large croaking noise. She tried again to the same result. Eventually, Carlotta had totally lost her voice. One of the managers climbed onto the stage and announced that Christine Daae would now be singing the part of Countess. The audience cheered and Carlotta threw Chrissy a dirty look. To give Chrissy time to change, the ballet from Act 3 was performed.

Chrissy ran to her dressing room and put on the costume. She arrived back in time to see the dancers whirling around and around, faster and faster. She looked up and saw the familiar figure of Joseph Buquet, the stagehand, about to lower a backdrop. As he held the rope, a dark figure crept behind him and slipped something over Buquet's head. He gasped and the figure sent him spinning over the stage, garrotted to death.

CONTINUED ON NEXT POST
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:19 pm

Again we have a nice retelling of the 2004 musical film. Good job, but at the moment we still see a lot of what we saw in the film. Try not to repeat as much.

Otherwise, keep up the good work and ad a little bit more description and emotions.

Brava, brava, bravissimi! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:34 pm

CHAPTER 6 CONTINUED

Everyone screamed and everyone panicked. Chrissy ran. She didn't care where, she just wanted to get away. She now was feeling nothing but hate for the Phantom. He had ditched her and now he had killed someone. When she found herself on the roof, Raoul was at her side.

"Why have you come here?" he asked, puzzled.

"For God's sake," Chrissy cried, "don't make me go back there. He'll kill me, I can feel it!" and she burst in to tears.

Raoul put his arm around her and assured her that she would be safe. He swore that he's always be there for her.

She turned away, but he kept hold of her hand and pulled her into an embrace, not their usual hug.

"Christine Daae," he whispered in her ear tenderly, "you took my heart when we were only fourteen, and quite frankly, I don't want it back. I only want yours in return."
Chrissy was stunned, not to mention a bit flattered. Before she could talk to him, he said, "Christine, I think I've fallen in love with you."

"Raoul," she whispered back, "I think the same."

They looked into each other's eyes, him into her stunning green eyes, her into his chocolate brown ones. They moved closer and closer until their lips met for the first time in years.

The first thing that Chrissy noticed was that Raoul's kiss was different from the Phantom's. It was still full of passion, but light, careful and loving. They held the kiss for a long time, each fully enjoying, it and holding each other. When they at last broke apart, Raoul had more to say, "Christine, I was going to ask you this later, but now seems like the right moment."

He rummaged in the breast pocket of his jacket and pulled out a little box. He flipped it open and inside was a gold ring with a beautiful emerald in the centre.

"What I'm trying to say is, Christine, will you marry me?"

Chrissy didn't know what to say but in the end, after thinking, "Yes, yes, yes!" and she slipped it on her finger. Arm in arm, they walked downstairs.

Unknown to Raoul and Chrissy, the Phantom was hiding behind a statue. He was shaking with tears. How could Chrissy betray him like that? He would make her pay.

A few hours later, Chrissy had triumphed once again in Il Muto. As the cast were making their curtain calls, the vast chandelier on the ceiling wobbled. Everyone stared at it. Then, without warning, there was a loud CRACK and the whole thing began plummeting towards the audience. It was absolute pandemonium. Several people had been caught directly underneath it and were killed instantly, some were able to get out the way and some had been caught by the debris. The gas lamps in it had burst and flames were creeping their way up the walls. Raoul, who thankfully was uninjured, searched desperately for Chrissy. A loud scream caught his attention.

"RAOUL, HELP ME, PLEASE! I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

The plea came from none other than Chrissy. She was covered in blood. A bit of chandelier had fallen on her and crushed her lower body and left arm. Her face was tear stained and her hair was matted with blood. Her dress was stained red. Raoul flew to her side, yelled for help and tried to pull the object off of her. When she was free, Raoul held her in his arms and she gently touched his face, then passed out.

The noise of screams and cries died away for Raoul, whose only concern was that the love of his life had passed out in his arms. She wasn't breathing. He couldn't let her go, he couldn't. He didn't know what to do, but he tried his best. He thumped her chest with all her might, then put his mouth to hers and breathed. He then yelled out,
"Angel of Death, look what you have done! The disaster shall soon be YOURS!

END OF PART 1


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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:37 pm

Oooh, cliffhangers! Lucky for you guys, I have time on my hand so I'm probably gonna post the next chapter as soon as I can get ideas into my head. Ciao!
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:55 pm

Ok, I have ideas now. I'm trying my hardest to go off the plotline of POTO, but I guess it doesn't help that I'm listening to it right now. Hee hee. Anyway, it's been a long week for me, with exams, finding a violin and looking for my cat. And I want to get on with this story so I can work on Little Lotte. So, here you go, Chapter 7 and Part 2!

CHAPTER 7

Chrissy had been in a coma for three months until she finally came around. Luckily, her injuries had healed and hadn't affected her singing in any way. She was still bedridden at the turn of the year, not being able to do anything for herself. Raoul was still shattered about what happened that night and was still fearful of his fiancee's life. He was dutifully getting her food and caring for her. He even had her permanantly moved from the Opera's dormitories to his mansion on the outskirts of Paris, so he could be with her at all hours. After six months, Chrissy was well enough to start working again and to go to the Opera Populaire's ball.

The opera had suffered greatly from the chandelier's crash and the following fire, but it had now recovered more or less. The masked ball coincided with the opera's reopening, so it was to be a splendid and anticipated affair.

When the Vicomte and future Vicomtess de Chagny arrived, they were greeted by news reporters who wanted the whole story of nine months before. The couple ignored them and went in. Chrissy danced a bit, but couldn't too much because she was still quite weak and the strength in her legs hadn't fully returned. She stumbled and fell a few times, but Raoul was always there to catch her. It painstakingly reminded her of when the Phantom caught her after his proposal.

Everytime the Phantom crossed her mind, she felt a mixture of longing, hate and sympathy. However, the longing and sympathy soon dissolved when she remembered that it was the Phantom who had made the chandelier fall and left her disabled for nine months. But the thoughts were still there and deep, very deep down, she missed him dearly.

She was about to tell Raoul that she needed to sit down when a loud WHOOSH made her turn her attention to the grand double doors that lead to the stage, which had opened. Standing there was a figure, dressed in magnificent red robes, an elaborate hat and a terrifying mask that portrayed a human skull, eerily life-like. Chrissy didn't have to think twice to know who it was. She tried to run, but her feet were rooted to the ground in terror. She looked around for Raoul, but he had vanished.

Meanwhile, the Phantom had a few words for the guests, "Good evening, my good friends" he said, putting an sarcastic emphasis on the word, "Have you missed me? I didn't think so. Rest assured, my absence was not fruitless. I have written you an opera, which already has the cast laid out and woe betide you should you change it. Here is the finished score. You had better start straight away, the music may be too difficult for your amateur orchestra!"

He threw an overstuffed leather packet at the feet of one of the managers, which promptly split open, spilling masses of sheet music over the floor. The manager picked it up and read the title, "Don Juan Triumphant?"

"Indeed," replied the Opera Ghost with a smirk, " a tale that will astound you, enthrall you and possibly repulse you!"

He turned and saw Chrissy who stepped back when she found herself under his gaze. He walked forward to her and when her hands flew to her face, he saw her ornate engagement ring, which he immediately seized, "You have no right to wear his ring, YOU BELONG TO ONLY ME!" he screamed at her.

Chrissy flinched but recovered swiftly. She looked up into his face with a look of disgust and said, "I do not belong to you. I will never belong to you. You are a murderer, you left me heartbroken and bedridden for nine whole months, three of them, I wasn't even conscious. I may have loved you once, and I could have been yours forever, but you pushed me away. I belong to Raoul now. He loves me and he will protect me."

The Opera Ghost stared at her, and his expression darkened still. He pulled her close to him and hissed, "You shall see, Christina Day, you shall see that you will only belong to me."

Chrissy was shaking. He had used her real name again, and what did he mean, she would see? Questions bubbled and fizzed in her head, but before she could say any more, the Opera Ghost crumpled and fell. She saw Raoul standing behind him, his fist raised.

"Christine!" he said, "Are you alright, has he hurt you?"

"No," she replied, "but what did you do?"

"I saw him threatening you so I punched him. I can't let him hurt you anymore."
He grabbed her hand and kissed it. Everyone crowded around the two, pelting them with questions, so no one saw the enraged Opera Ghost rising and creeping away.

Later that night, at the de Chagny mansion, Chrissy was still quivering with fear from the experience of seeing the Phantom again. She talked to Raoul about it and then with a jolt, she remembered, "Raoul," she whispered, "he has my engagement ring!"
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Sun Mar 18, 2012 2:45 am

Gah, this is so addictive! I love writing this! Next chapter coming your way!

CHAPTER 8

Rehearsals for Don Juan were now well underway. Chrissy, however, was reluctant. All she kept saying was, "He'll take me, I'll never see daylight again..."

All the company thought she was raving mad but Raoul knew otherwise. "It's alright Chrissy." he said, (he was now nicknaming her Chrissy, which was a comfort to her)
"Remember, I won't let him do anything to you."

Rumors were flying about the composer and the part Chrissy played in the composition and soon the rumors turned into accusations. The finger of blame, of course went to Chrissy. The year wasn't starting well for her. First bedridden, then threatened, then accused. She decided to visit her (Christine's) father's grave.

At the cemetery, she found her father's tombstone and sat down beside it. She wished he was there, he'd know what to do. She collapsed with tears of sorrow and anguish. It felt good to let it out. After a while, she recovered herself, got up and turned to leave.

Before she could start walking, a certain familiar, divine voice called to her. She turned around again, but after that, she was paralyzed with fear.

"Oh God," she whispered to herself, "what does he want of me now?"

The Phantom was standing behind the tombstone, his arm extended, reaching out to her. Before she could think twice, she was hypnotized by his voice and started to walk to him. Before long, he was leading her to his lair once more. By the time Raoul got there to collect Chrissy, they were already long gone.

Chrissy awoke from her hypnosis as soon as she set foot in the lair. When she realized where she was, she screamed, "You had better let me out right now or I'll...I'll"
"Or what?" came the reply.

Chrissy fell silent, but kicked herself all the same. How could she be so stupid? She had let herself be hypnotized and now she was a prisoner. Now she would never see Raoul again.

"Well, Mames'lle Day, did I not warn you that there would be consequences if you went to that boy?" her captor snarled.

Chrissy trembled. All courage and backchat that she might have used had now dissolved into nothing but fear.

"Did I not say," hissed the mad Opera Ghost, "that you belong only to me?"

Chrissy tried to speak, but the words caught in her throat and dissolved. It was no matter anyway, because the Angel spoke again, "You were not the only heartbroken one, my child, I regretted leaving you." Finally Chrissy mustered up enough courage to say something in reply, "Then why did you if it hurt both of us? Oh, and don't call me child. I'm practically an adult."

"I was guilty. Guilty because I am so much older than you, guilty because who knows what I might have done to you..."

At first Chrissy was puzzled, but then it dawned on her. She realised why he had let her go. But one matter still stood.

"Don't forget that you dropped a chandelier on me! I nearly died, and I was one of the lucky ones!"

"I was in a fit of jealousy, you promised yourself to that whelp of a boy. I, and only I can love you truly" he whispered to her. His tone had changed now, from enraged to suave and seductive. He put his hand on her shoulder and ran it down to her hip, She shivered, his very touch sending tingles down her spine. He pulled her close to him so their noses were almost touching. Chrissy didn't know what to think. She was engaged to Raoul, but now remembered that the Phantom made her soul soar to the highest heights. Then, his seductive power worked its magic on her and she cuddled up to him.

The angel of music held her in a tight embrace and ran his hand down her back. "Christina," he whispered into her ears through her dark, straight hair, "do you forgive me for my wrongdoings?"

"Yes," she breathed back, "but call me Chrissy, that's what I've always been called."
He drew back and looked at Chrissy with a look of love. He pulled her close again, but this time into a passionate kiss, not like their first kiss, but more powerful and overwhelming. Her knees buckled and she went limp, but the Phantom held her in his strong arms, not daring to let her fall. The kiss fell away, and he led her away by the hand to a side room.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:26 am

Ooh, a gripping ending, right? Shall we see what happens next then? I definately want to know! Next chapter, anyone?

CHAPTER 9

Chrissy awoke with her head on the Phantom's chest. She remembered the night vividly, like it was still happening. It was the first time anything like that had ever happened to her. She looked at her angel. He was still asleep, his mask and wig on the bedside table. Chrissy had insisted that he take it off. He was breathing gently, sleeping with a peaceful smile on his face, his arm round Chrissy's shoulder. She snuggled up to him and hugged him tight. She looked at her right hand and her face fell. She was still wearing Raoul's engagement ring, which the Phantom had given back to her. What would she tell him? How would she tell him? He'd be either broken or enraged. 'Well, what's done is done, like I always say.'

Eventually, the Phantom woke up and said, "Chrissy, you love me don't you?"

"Of course. Why?"

"Tell me that you will leave Raoul after the performance of Don Juan."

"How?"

"Come with me after the performance ends. They will think I have killed you and we can live in peace."

"Sounds like a plan.But on one condition - you don't kill anymore"

"Fine.", he nodded, "Now, you must return. They will need you to rehearse. Go and get dressed. There are clean dresses in the wardrobe over there."

About an hour later, Christine walked into the Opera and everyone started talking at her and asking where she had been, to which she replied, "Out."

Raoul, on the other hand, was being very over protective of her, constantly checking if she was ill or stressed. Before, she might have found it comforting, but now, she just found him annoying.

"Raoul," she snapped after another check-up, "I love you and all that, but please just shut up!"

Raoul was obviously stung by this.

"Don't talk to me like that, darling. It's because I care."

Chrissy muttered an apology and went to her dressing room to get ready for the rehearsal. After all, it opened in only a week and a half.

The rehearsal was well underway. Chrissy sang Aminta's part with passion and sensuality. However, the tenor cast as Don Juan, Piangi, was truly awful. He got all of the passages wrong in a way, even the simplest ones.

Chrissy groaned, and "I have to kiss him after 'Point of No Return'. Agh. Why, angel, why!"

It was a week later and opening night. Chrissy was feeling slightly ill and she didn't know why. She was throwing up regularly and breathing abnormally. Then, "CRAP!"

One morning, she realized she hadn't bled and she was supposed to have to done by now. There was only explanation. She was pregnant with the Phantom's child.

What was she going to tell Raoul? What was she going to tell the Phantom? Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control. And the performance was tonight.

She was walking past the manager's office and heard Raoul talking to the managers,
"If she sings, he'll be there and we can catch him. His reign on terror will end forever."
Chrissy bit back a gasp. She had to do something now.

She threw open the mirror and ran down the passage. She found the Phantom on his organ playing a bit of Don Juan.

"Hello my dear," he said, surprised," what brings you down here?"

She explained the plan breathlessly. The Angel of Music was in deep thought.
Eventually he assured her that he had a plan and told her not to worry. He kissed her goodbye and she made her way back to her dressing room.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:25 pm

Anyone home? No? Never mind. The story is nearing it's end but never mind.

CHAPTER 10

The performance of Don Juan was going very well. Piangi had not yet screwed up, Carlotta was being reasonable and the dancing was perfect. Finally, the last part of the last act came. Chrissy strolled onto the stage in her green, red and brown costume and sang Aminta's lines, "No thoughts within her head but thoughts of joy, no thoughts within her heart but thoughts of love!"

She hit the high note with innocence and beauty.

Then Piangi began 'Point of No Return' the infamous duet, only it didn't sound like Piangi...

Nevertheless, she resumed her part with the intense choreography, identical to the breath like that in the score. However, when Don Juan was holding her in an embrace, she knew there and then that it definitely wasn't Piangi. She sang her duet with power and force with an element of fear and at the end of the song, instead of fainting in Don Juan's arms, she turned back the hood. Inside, there wasn't a mustachioed tenor. It was a handsome face with a white mask on one side.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed under her breath, "I had to get here somehow." he whispered back. Then, speaking loudly, he said, "Christine, I love you, say now that you'll..."

"NOOOOOOO!"

The cry came from one of the boxes. It was Raoul. He jumped out of the box and onto the stage, which was an impressive jump of five feet. Then, Raoul did something very unexpected. He shielded Chrissy and lunged for the Phantom. He dived and caught hold of something, the mask. He ripped it off, and the Phantom was exposed.

The Opera Ghost stood in shock for a few seconds, then grabbed Chrissy's hand and ran towards the curtains. They burst open, and Piangi's throttled corpse was swinging from the frame. Chrissy gave a yell of shock, "You promised me you'd stop killing! YOU PROMISED!"

She tried to pull away, but the Angel of Death tightened his grip and pulled her further. She wept as she was pulled further into blackness and despair, thinking of her unborn child and that it's father was a murderer.

When they got to the lair, Chrissy tried to run, but the Phantom blocked the door.

"You swore to me that you would stop killing! You swore that the murder would END!"

The Phantom tried to comfort her but she pulled away.

"It was an accident, I-"

"You don't throttle someone by accident, and I'm sure that-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Raoul appeared. Chrissy ran to him.

"LET ME IN! LET ME SEE HER!" he bawled, hammering on the gate which cnnected to the lake.

The Phantom gave a suspicious shrug and opened the gate. Raoul pulled her into a tight hug. As he rose, the Phantom whipped out his noose and caught Raoul at the neck.

"No!" pleaded Chrissy, "Please, no more bloodshed, no more evil."

"ENOUGH!" roared the Phantom, shaking with unsuppressed rage, "This insolent boy has revealed me, and no one must see the face of Erik and LIVE!"

There was a stunned silence. Why, of all things, did she learned her beloved's name in this way. The silence was broken by Raoul, who was turning blue, coughing and spluttering. He managed a few words with the little breath he could muster, "Christine, forget about me, just let yourself free."

Erik, however, had other ideas, "Say you love him, and you die too."

Then, Raoul and Erik started a chorus of conflicting ideas. Chrissy head's was spinning. Finally, she could not take anymore.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled at the top of her voice, "FOR GOD'S SAKE ERIK, LET HIM GO FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CHILD!"

There was another silence. Erik reeled back, ashamed, Raoul stared at her and said,
"When did this happen?"

"The night after I disappeared at the cemetery." replied Chrissy, looking at Erik.
Erik gave a sob and whispered, "Oh, Chrissy. What have I done to you? Befouled you with the devil's child..." and broke down. Chrissy held his face in her hands and said,
"You and I have made life. There is nothing wrong with that."

"What if the child is like me?"

"What of it?"

"But now, let Raoul go."

The Phantom lost all compassion, "No, he revealed me to the world. Now he must DIE."

With that, he grabbed the noose again and tugged. Raoul turned a nasty shade of blue and looked close to death.

"You poor creature," sympathized Chrissy, looking at him sadly with her mysterious eyes, "What has the world done to you?" and with that she kissed him again, holding him close and cradling his head. Raoul looked away, repulsed.

The Phantom broke the kiss and tore the noose from Raoul's neck.

"Tell them that she drowned down here" he hissed at him, "and swear you will never tell."

Raoul ran, but held Chrissy again in his arms one last time, kissing her gently.

"I love you Raoul, but I can't stay with you."

Raoul looked at Chrissy with tears in his eyes, tore himself away and ran up the staircase while Erik and Chrissy watched.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:17 pm

No, it's not over yet! A couple more chapters to go!

CHAPTER 11

Mayfair, London, March 1862.

"Come on Chrissy! Push, you're nearly there!

Chrissy gave a painful cry. Who knew that this would be so painful?
She was screaming and screaming when suddenly there was a wail, but the contractions hadn't stopped.

"It's a boy, Chrissy," yelped Erik, "A beautiful baby boy and, Chrissy?"

Chrissy was still screaming, the contractions hadn't stopped.

"I don't know why," she screamed between breaths, "but I have the strangest feeling that it's twins! AAAAGGGHH!"

Many screams and long cries later, the second twin was born, a tiny baby girl.

Chrissy sat up and gave a huge sigh. She held her newborns in her hands.

"What should we call them?" Erik sighed, looking at his son and daughter proudly, "You can choose both their names."

"The girl is called Eloisa, and the boy... is, is called...Raoul"

"Raoul?" said Erik, exasperated," Chrissy, it's been nine whole months, haven't you gotten over it?"

"Yes," came the reply, "But how can I not name my first son after my first friend. I did know him before you."

Erik sighed and nodded in agreement. He looked lovingly at his wife. His thoughts drifted to their wedding day. It was a perfect day in June, as soon as they arrived in London. Chrissy had worn a floaty silk dress which thankfully hid her growing bump, with flowers and a veil in her hair. Erik remembered with a smile how radiant he had looked.

Now, he had a real family to look after, a wife and two gorgeous children.

*****************TWELVE YEARS LATER******************************

The Destlers were taking their daily walk through St James' Park. Erik and Chrissy walked arm in arm, Chrissy holding a tight grip on the youngest, Cecilia's, arm. The little five-year-old always wanted to run ahead, but she would probably get lost. The second youngest, eight-year-old Charles ran ahead with the family dog, Angel, a little white spaniel. The two eldest, the twins Raoul and Eloisa walked arm in arm like their parents and whispered to each other. Of all the children, those two were the most musical. They took after their parents in the fact that Eloisa had a soprano voice that would melt ice-cold hearts and Raoul, a smooth tenor already, soft and suave. The two would often sing for their parents' enjoyment on a regular basis.

As for Erik and Chrissy themselves, the years had been good to them. Chrissy still had her beautiful soprano voice and sang in Operas in London all the time. Erik was a mastermind composer, famous for his many famous symphonies and Operas. They lived comfortably in a large house with their four children, whom they adored. Life was good.

That night, as Erik and Chrissy were getting ready for bed when there was a knock on the door. Chrissy opened the door and behind it was a face that she had not seen in twelve years.

His eyes were dark and mad, his hair unkempt and his face unshaven. He had definitely been on the rougher side of things. He also stank of brandy. The Vicomte de Chagny had changed in twelve years. He was no longer the dashing hero he once was. Her sudden intake of breath did not go unnoticed by her husband. He walked up to the door and said, "What are you doing here?"

Raoul looked at him with his mad brown eyes and said, "Something I have wanted to do for a long time."

Out of nowhere, he produced a gun and aimed it at Erik. The next few moments happened in a blaze for Chrissy. Raoul fired the gun and Chrissy dived in front of Erik. Next thing she knew, she was on the floor and in indescribable pain. Raoul ran to her side, but Erik punched him and said, "GET AWAY FROM HER!"

Raoul ran from the door but not before all four children sprinted down the stairs to their mother's side.

She was bleeding profusely, there was no way to stop it.

"Hold on, Chrissy, please hold on!" Erik said desperately, holding his wife in his arms.

"I can't, I'm sorry Erik," she breathed.

"Mama," asked Eloisa, "are you going to be alright?"

"No, ma petite ange, I am not. I don't have long now."

All of the children started to sob, and the world around her started to fade.

Before all went black, she heard Erik talking to her one last time, "Good-bye, my love. Now, you are truly an Angel of Music. God bless you."

Chrissy, with all her remaining strength, stroked Erik's face, then her arm fell limp.

Erik shook his head in disbelief. It couldn't be happening. Reality sunk in. The love of his life's eyes closed.

"NOOOOOO!"
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:09 pm

So, the story is now at an end. The ride has been short, but great. Here's the last chapter of JOURNEY TO THE PAST.

EPILOGUE

Chrissy woke with a start. Daylight was pouring in through the windows. She reached to her left for Erik, but he wasn't there. Instead, she got a handful of curtain. Was it all a dream? She looked at her hand. On it was a gold band with a Claddagh imprinted on it, her wedding ring. So it was all real. But it was nearly one-hundred and fifty years later. All her family would be dead. Tears watered her eyes to think that her four beautiful children and her ever-faithful husband were gone. She seized her laptop and typed in 'Erik Destler' on Wikipedia. There he was. The page read, "ERIK DESTLER 1828-1910"

He had lived to 82. That was forty whole years alone. She read on, to discover that he never remarried after his wife, Christina Destler, famed opera singer (Chrissy was impressed to see that she had her own page), was killed by an unknown gunman. All her children had somehow grown to be famous.

Raoul Destler: 1862-1959. Famous singing duo with his sister. Married Anne-Marie Destler in 1884. Five children, all but one deceased, ten grandchildren, all alive.

Eloisa Marquette nee Destler 1862-1961. Famous singing duo with her brother. Married Jaques Marquette, three children, four grandchildren.

Charles Destler 1866-1942. Noted astronomer. Chrissy read on with a pang, only to realise that her youngest son had been killed in an air raid, leaving behind a widow and no children.

Cecilia Jones nee Destler 1868 - 1978. One of the oldest people ever. Skilled in Acting and Drama. Biggest role in the 1925 version of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA under her stage name Mary Philbin. Married Arthur Jones 1889, four children, all still surviving.

Chrissy read this with tears in her eyes. All of her children were dead. Some of her grandchildren were and her own daughter had been in an adaption of the story of her mother and fathers' lives. She read on to find that they were all buried in Southwark Cathedral in the family mausoleum. It was worth a visit anyway.

Later that day, she was at Southwark and looking around. As hard as she tried, she couldn't find the place where her family was laid to rest. She asked a guide and he showed her the way.

The mausoleum was amazing. It was enormous, with ornate notes painted in gold leaf on the sides. She asked to go inside, but the guide said it was family members only. Chrissy cursed her luck. Technically, she was a family member. More than that, she was the matriarch!

Just then, an old man came up and said, "You can let her in. She's a family friend."

"Ok Mr. Destler, your choice."

Chrissy blinked. Did he really just say that. "I'm sorry but, did he say Mr Destler? It's just that I've been doing research on your family and..."

Before she could lie anymore, he cut her off.

"Never you mind, madam, or should I say, grand-mere?"

Chrissy gasped.

"How do you-"

"My father often talked of you." he said, cutting her off again, "Of how you died when he was just twelve, and of how he was left the only male heir after the Second World War."

Chrissy blinked. This could only mean that her first son, her Raoul, was this elderly man's father.

He opened the door of the mausoleum with a dull click. She immediately went to find Erik's resting place. She put her hand to the cold stone, knowing that inside, her Erik was now no more than a skeleton. She wondered if he was still wearing his mask. She kept on going, seeing all her family, those she knew, and those she didn't. Then, she came to her own grave. It was strange, thinking that in the casket was her, not a doppelganger, but really her. It was a total paradox, being in the same room with her own dead body.

She talked with her grandson for a while afterwards. She had learned that her youngest relative, her great, great granddaughter was about her age.

"Her name," he said, looking over the top of his glasses, "is Megan. Megan Germain."
Chrissy's mouth dropped open. Her best friend was her grand daughter. This was weird. Apparently, she didn't know, but was to keep it secret.

CONTINUED IN NEXT POST

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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:50 pm

EPILOGUE CONTINUED

Chrissy returned to home that night feeling dazed and just a bit upset. She had seen her children's tombs, met her own grandson and found out that her best friend was her own great great granddaughter. Then, she suddenly remembered, that fateful night all those years ago, the night she died, that she had a surprise for Erik. She was going to tell him that she was carrying another child. Surely the child would have died, but how could she be sure?

The next day, she walked to the chemist and picked up a pregnancy test saying, "It's for my mum."

She ran to the nearest public toilet and tried it. She looked, and it was positive.

"So not all children dead then" she grinned to herself, but then, what was she going to tell her mum? She couldn't tell her the truth. For one thing, she wouldn't believe her. She needed to talk to Erik now, but she couldn't - he was dead and buried. She had to find out a way to get back. She had to return to the past, whatever happened, for the sake of her new baby.

The next week, she was walking through the town and passed the medium when he came out and said, "You, Miss Day, I have a message for you."

"I'm not here for a reading." she said.

But the medium a insisted and she walked inside. The old man looked at her and said,
"I know of your life in the past and the paradox which happened when you died. You were not supposed to die, you were supposed to live on in the past. There is a way for you to return, but it will take great sacrifice."

"What?" she asked, "I'll do anything"

"You have to take your life in this time, so you can relive your life in the past"

Chrissy's mouth dropped open. So either way in one of her lives, she would be dead. She thanked the medium and walked home, stricken. She was very torn. Would she leave the life she was born in, all the people she loved to be with the love of her life and children again, or should she stay and never get the chance to see Erik again, knowing that he died alone? For the next three weeks she was more or less silent, pondering her choice.

'I'll be dead any way' she constantly thought to herself.

She lay in bed awake one night and went to turn her pillow over and underneath it was a photograph. She turned on her bedside lamp and looked at it. She suppressed a gasp when she saw. It was a photograph that was taken in 1875 about a month before she died. It was her whole family, her, Erik and her children. Her heart ached for them. She knew then where her heart was and what her decision was.

The next week or so was spent in remorse for Chrissy. She hated herself for what she was going to do. She studied how to make a noose, and said one last goodbye to her mother, hugging her very. very tight and whispered, "I'm sorry."

She went up to her room and hung the noose from the ceiling. She climbed onto her bed and slipped it round her head. Taking one last look at her room, she jumped off her bed.

Everything spun and fizzed, and her insides were screaming at her to take it off. But she knew what death felt like, and was not afraid. She took her last struggled breath and let the blackness envelope her. Then, everything went cold and Chrissy Day, a girl of the 21st Century, breathed no more.

Moments afterward, Megan burst in gabbling, "Hey Chrissy your mum says that dinner's ready and-"She cut off and stared at her best friend's body dangling, unconscious, with a smear of blood round her mouth. Megan let out a scream and fell to her knees wailing.

*********************************************************************
Mayfair, London, June 1875

Erik had let out his scream and buried in face in his wife's hair. He looked at her face and took a double take. Her eyelids were fluttering. Suddenly, they shot open and she gasped.

"Mama!" chorused the four children joyfully.

Chrissy summed up her strength and flung her arms round Erik's neck holding him tight.

"I thought I'd lost you," he whispered to her as he hugged her.

"Never," she breathed back.

"How?" he asked.

"Put the children to bed, and I'll tell you."

She moved to get up, as her family protested, and got swiftly to her feet. Her children rushed to her and hugged her all at once.

"Mama," said Raoul suddenly, " you don't have a wound anymore!"

"No, my dear," Chrissy said to him, "now, up to bed with all of you."

Half an hour later, the children were in bed and Chrissy was telling Erik of what she had done to come back. Erik looked on, shocked.

"I should have known that it would have been my fault that you died. You could have lived a new life in your time and you thre it away."

Chrissy held his hands and lifted his head, "It was my choice, and this is my time now. I wanted to be with you. But that's not all."

She turned to her husband and told him the news of the new baby. He started to weep with joy and Chrissy could not help but join him in weeping. She was where she wanted to be, with her husband and her four, well five, children.

Nine months later, their daughter was born. The Destlers recieved a shock. One half of her face was wrinkled and warped, and her left eye was orange, while her other was green like her mother. She had dark sandy hair, and her the left side of her lips were enlarged. She was the image of her father. Erik's worst fear had been realized, and said, "This is the result of the time travel and deaths you experienced."

Chrissy shrugged and said, "You know what, I don't care what she looks like. She's our daughter and I already have the perfect name for her."

"What?"

"She is more you than me and I love that about her."

"What is her name then?"

"Erika."

This is the point of no return, when our tale ends. The opera is done, the last notes have been played, and I hope you have all enjoyed.

Thank you.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:09 am

This review is for the final chapters. First of all, I see a nice short story, but a little rushed. Short does not mean hurried. Slow down so the reader can feel the happiness and/or sadness of the characters.

The use of the surname Destler was used in the 1989 film version of The Phantom of the Opera with Robert Englund.

The part where a vengeful Raoul attempts to shoot the Phantom but kills Christine instead was used in Susan Kay's Phantom and in Becky Meadows' Progeny and lastly The Phantom of Manhattan by Frederick Forsythe.

The theory of a person from one dimension or period of time finding themselves living in a different one and then having to die in one to live in another has been done. The TV series Charmed had an episode where the sisters found themselves in the future and Phoebe had to die in the future in order to/return and live in the present.

Having said all of this, even if some of this has been done before take some time to make it your own. Because of the rush to finish the story, I couldn't feel much of anything for the characters. Take time to develop them. What do they think and feel? How do others see them?

When writing a period piece, try to keep in the language and mannerisms of the day. Using expressions like "ok" and the like are too modern.

I feel a good idea is here but much more to make it the best it could be. When you have more time, do a rewrite and give us more emotions, thoughts and descriptions.

Otherwise, well done. You are a promising writer. Keep up the good work.

Brava, brava, bravissimi! Smile Smile Smile



Last edited by PhantomnessFay on Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:08 am

Well, I haven't actually read any of those and I've never seen Charmed. I got Destler from the 1989 version, but only because I thought it was a nice name! Ha ha. I had so much fun writing this, and it means loads to me that someone has read it.
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PostSubject: Re: JOURNEY TO THE PAST   Mon Mar 26, 2012 3:01 pm

Quick update, my friend managed to upload it to her Kindle, and she said that she loved it. I felt so proud. Even though she wanted Christine to end up with Raoul (she is an R/C shipper. Sad)
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